I still struggle with this even after being in the workforce full time now for a decade. Definitely not as much as before, but every once and a while I get the Sunday scaries.
I will obsessively check my work email for things that I missed, check calendars for meetings I’m unprepared for. 99% of the time I find nothing but that still doesn’t stop the anxiousness or the panic. I’m convinced that I’m going to get to work Monday morning and either A: get fired or B: be told that my work is sub par and people have complained.
Neither scenario has actually ever happened in fact the opposite has happened. In the 5 years I’ve been at my job I’ve been promoted, gotten a raise and this year I got my first Outstanding at my year end review. Obviously I’m doing something right. So why do I still get that overwhelming feeling of inadequacy?
I think a large part of it comes down to my personality, of always wanting to be the best and NEVER disappointing someone. I very much like and respect my boss and the other directors I support and it isn’t so much a fear of failure or getting fired but of disappointing them. However I finally realized one day that these people that I’m so afraid of disappointing have done nothing but sing my praises for the last 5 years, so why don’t I believe them? If they are truly people I respect and who’s opinions matter why don’t I believe them when they tell me that I’m doing great or that I had an outstanding year? I realized it was a bit insulting to them to be like, oh you think I’m doing great? Yeah right you obviously are an idiot and have no idea what you’re talking about, I suck.
I’ve spent the last year getting over this insecurity and learning to accept when people commending me on a job well done. I’ve put away the tin foil hat of conspiracy theories and have just carried on doing good work and accepting constructive criticism when it is given. You know just without the hand wringing and up all night playing out various scenarios on how I’ll be fired because of this minor thing that was mentioned in my mid year review.
Anyone else deal with feeling inadequate at work? If so how do you deal? If you used to how did you overcome it?