Bad Choices, Life, The Neurotic Life

Marisa’s Impossible Story

I was reminded of Inslee’s impossible story yesterday. Because it suddenly became my life. Although not quite as dramatic as bed bugs. I did however manage to include my car keys with my Bean Boots I shipped back to Maine. I know everyone is thinking, wait how did your keys end up in a shoe box? Well the short story is, you should always be kind and courteous to your fellow coworker who has her arms full of stuff and an umbrella because it’s pouring rain and could you maybe have just held the damn door open for me?

Thursday morning: rain, lighting, thunder, the lot. I laid in bed googling “is it safe to shower when it’s lightning out?” Snopes told me you really can get electrocuted in the shower so I made the hubs take a shower first, since he didn’t believe me anyway. Luckily it was done storming by the time he got out. So due to my fear of electrocution via shower head, I was running late for work. It also happened to be my day to bring in breakfast for the office so I had to stop by Bruegger’s and pick up bagels. They only use paper bags at Bruegger’s and I did my best to ensure the paper handles did not get wet so they wouldn’t break on me sending my bagels into one of the many puddles which would then cause me to endure the sad starving faces of my co-workers. Luckily I was successful and I thought to myself “this day isn’t so bad really. We get to have bagels for breakfast, I got to wear my Hunter boots, and I have a Junior League meeting tonight.” With dry bagels in tow, I headed to the office.

Once I parked I realized that I had a lot of things to carry in and it was still pouring rain. However I used to live in the upper apartment of a duplex and pride my self on carrying many many things at a time because I WILL NOT MAKE TWO TRIPS. So I put these skills to use gathered up my bagels, my laptop bag which is really a Kate Spade tote so no I couldn’t just wear it like a cross body, my Bean Boots box which had yet to be sealed and my umbrella. The umbrella is what really ruined things as it rendered one hand completely useless. Still I was managing and soon I was approaching the door, and as luck would have it so was another girl. Silently (and naively) I thought, thank goodness because opening the door with all this shiz would have been tough. This girl sees me, with all my crap and I smile the please help me I don’t want to drop my bagels in a puddle thank you so much smile because I didn’t want to be rude. We get closer to the door, and I’m trying to match this girls pace so she isn’t waiting in the rain because I’m nice,  she opens the door just a crack slips in and goes on her merry way. I was left standing there bagels, laptop, Bean Boots and CAR KEYS, in hand like wtf just happened here? She saw me right? I smiled at her in my obviously you’re a nice human being who will help a co-worker out smile right? So why am I still standing our here in the rain with my hands full? I suppose I could have waited for someone else to come along but people needed bagels dammit. So I had to improvise.

I managed to open the door enough to throw my box on the floor and then, this is important, I threw my car keys in the box JUST FOR A MINUTE so I could set my bags down and wrestle my umbrella in the door. Once inside I gathered all my stuff off the floor, made it to my desk, set out the bagel spread, plugged in my laptop, sealed up my box and put it in outgoing mail and went about my day.

At about 4:20 I started getting ready to shut down for the day as I had my Junior League meeting to get to and with it being the first day of fair, traffic was going to be tough. So I am putting my laptop into my bag, grab my sunglasses and reach for my keys. Wait, where are my keys? I frantically search through my bag and come up empty handed. I go over to the kitchen to see if I left them there when I put out the bagels. Nope. I tear through all the bagel bags. Nope. Then it hits me. In a slow motion flashback I see myself tossing my keys into the box, then sealing it up and sending it on it’s way to Maine. I remained calm and thought, NBD it’s only 4:30 surely it’s still at the dock. Run down the halls first to the mail room. They’d already taken packages to the dock. Run to the dock, barge in, HAS UPS COME?!?!?! By the looks on their faces I knew; my keys and my boots were already on their journey. I hung my head in defeat and headed back to my desk.

I called the hubs to let him know of my predicament. My plan was to just take the bus home and wait for him to get home to come back and get my car with the spare key. Luckily my NICE cubemate overheard my plight and offered to drive my home to pick up my spare key so I could still make it to my Junior League meeting.

As I was recounting my impossible story to the girls our waiter happened to hear it. When he brought me my drink, he said it was on the house. At least something good happened that day. LL Bean customer service also contacted me via twitter (yay social media!) and have alerted their returns department to my situation and hopefully my keys will be making their way back from the east coast next week.

So the moral of this whole story: be a nice effing person and hold the door for people. Honestly is an extra 10 seconds out of your day really too much to ask?

Keep it real,


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